Tales of the Unknown War
by No Limit 5
Summary: Rika, princess of the Empire of Ooraka, is to wed their sister kingdom’s prince to ensure an alliance in a war. Naturally, Rika isn’t too thrilled about this and runs away, abandoning her country when it needs her the most. INCOMPLETE!
1. A World Based on War

NL: I present to you all my latest original story (that is a new personal favorite next to _Kingdom Hearts: Link to Life_ and _Team Limit_) – _Tales of the Unknown War_.

Mystery: Which stars No Limit's favorite number two favorite (me being first) original character: Rika Itonami of _Link to Life_ fame!

NL: You're my favorite OC?

Mystery: (slaps his head) Enjoy the story, please!

_**Chapter 1 – A World Based on War**_

_In a world with a variety of kingdoms, nations and lands one could always count on one thing:_

_War._

_It was meant to be a means as creating and keeping peace, but that purpose has long since vanished. War is now like a living being that consumes and breeds – its diet being the lives of the world's people. It even resides in a single kingdom; where its very citizens fight each other for survival. Some are ignorant to this problem – believing that their world is just fine the way it is and even it wasn't, there's nothing they could do. The world is in a state of desolate despair and the hope of its populace is rapidly fading. There are no saviors. There are no heroes. There are no chosen ones. No knights in shining armor._

_Nothing._

_But that certainly doesn't mean there aren't people willing to finally end this eternal unknown war._

_**--**_

"Are you guys ready?"

"A-a-are you _sure_ about this, R-R-Rika?"

"Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

"Y-ye-ye-ye, most definitely."

"Well…trust me on this one. I've done this dozens of times!"

"Just be sure to eat my dust, lady and gentle-pig!"

"D-D-Daffy…"

"LET'S GO!!"

Three figures leaped from the safety of the ledge along a snow-covered mountaintop that seemed to stretch down for thousands of miles as they rode on snowboards. "Ha, ha!" the only female of the three whooped, making zigzags in the snow with her blue board. She was about fourteen years of age which seemed to be reflected in a wide grin plastered on her face. Her eyes were a dark blue shade as they were hidden behind a pair of yellow visors. Her auburn hair was long and tied into a ponytail with a blue ribbon. Snowboarding required proper clothing, which she did prepare for – she wore a black and blue ski jacket, a pair of black, fingerless gloves, a black scarf and pants, and (obviously enough) ski boots that firmly connected her feet to the snowboard.

"N-n-now just keep your b-b-balance," an anthropomorphic pig muttered to himself in a stutter, attempting to keep himself from falling over with his pink board. He had pointy pig's ears, pig's feet with small black hooves, and pink skin. He simply wore a red sweater (strangely enough) and a little green and blue Santa hat on his head for this snowboarding experience.

"Just look at me, Porky!" an anthropomorphic duck with black feathers, an orange bill and orange webbed feet with a white collar around his neck shouted from his black and orange snowboard. He wore a full-body green, black, and white ski suit (complete with helmet) as he slid closer to Porky. "Screw balance! You just need to lean into it, like so…" He leaned forward and began gaining speed. "See?" he smirked pompously to the pig.

"D-D-Daffy! W-w-w-w-w-atch o-o-out-"

"Just spit it out, butterball!" Daffy snapped. "Sheesh." He rolled his eyes.

"TREES!"

"Wha-" He turned his head straight ahead and saw he was heading right for a whole grove of pine trees. "Yipe!" Daffy clumsily weaved and dodged the trees, narrowly hitting each one. Once he cleared the obstacles, Daffy sighed in relief as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Phew, that was close." He spoke too soon. His snowboard connected with a tiny rock that sent him flying through the air. Porky was calmly edging himself down the mountain as Daffy flew through the air. "WATCH OUT, SENIOR BACON!" Porky turned around just in time as Daffy collided with the pig. The two barn animals continued rolling down through the snow, collecting it along the way, and they became a giant snowball.

Rika, meanwhile, was well ahead of the two. "Heh, heh, looks like I'm gonna beat them to the jump," she smiled contently, but then perked up her ears. There seemed to be a strange sound coming from behind her. Rika turned her head briefly around for a moment and then returned to looking ahead. Her eyes bugged out and did a double take at the massive ball of snow containing her friends heading for her. "Oh, sonofvagunmaryjohnson!" Rika held up her left wrist that had a special watch on it. She punched down the face of the watch, lighting it up. Suddenly, a pair of rocket boosters revealed themselves from the back of her snowboard. They slowly hummed and exploded with a powerful thrust, blasting Rika speedily away.

But this wasn't enough as the boulder of snow was accelerating far too fast. Soon, it engulfed Rika as well. The ball continued rolling until it reached a ledge of the mountain – where a ski jump was waiting for it. Through sheer cartoon logic, the speeding snowball rolled over it and sent it flying across the air. Although they couldn't be heard, Rika, Daffy and Porky were screaming in terror inside. Reaching the base of the mountain, the snowball crashed with ground and sent the trio flying into seven feet of snow. Digging themselves out of the snow, their heads popped out as they gasped for air.

"Let's do that again!" Daffy grinned. Porky glared him askance.

"Princess Rika!!"

"Oh, crap…" Rika sighed glumly. Rushing toward them were three guards. One was a twelve-year old girl with long pink hair, green eyes and wore a pink kimono. Another was a sixteen-year-old boy with short black hair, wore a black robe, and strapped to his side is a katana in a sheath. The last one was another sixteen-year-old boy with messy black hair that hung over his eyes. He wore a black cloak with white lining, white boots and gloves, a black thin-stripe mask over his eyes and a pair of white goggles over them.

The guard with the goggles frantically shouted, "What were you thinking?! You could've gotten hurt, Your Majesty! King Sora would've had my butt chopped off and then placed over his fireplace mantle!!"

Rika awkwardly smiled. "Er, well, I'm okay. That's what counts, right?"

The other male guard sighed. "Essentially…yes."

"Then there's no problem, is there?" Rika pushed herself out and then pulled Daffy and Porky out of the snow, walking away with them. "Fish our snowboards off of the snow, will ya?"

"Ooh, that Rika…" the guard with goggles groaned. "When is she going to take on her royal responsibility as the princess of the Empire of Ooraka?"

"Give it a rest, No Limit," the lone female guard shrugged. "She's a carefree teenager like the rest of us."

"I've been dead for over a hundred years, Mystery," No Limit deadpanned.

"Good for you," she said sweetly, patting his shoulder. "But Rika's only fourteen. She's still figuring out who she is."

"Is she someone who always runs off with her bodyguards to do stupid stunts?" the other guard asked, slinging Rika, Daffy and Porky's snowboards over his shoulder.

"Maybe she is, Wolf," Mystery said. "But she'll learn what she has to do once she inherits the crown."

No Limit uncomfortably stroked his chin, looking in the direction Rika just left in. "I'm afraid she'll have to learn about it sooner than we thought…"

_**End of Chapter 1**_

NL: Well, there's chapter 1!

Mystery: So…what time period does this takes place in?

NL: It doesn't. It's an alternate universe that bridges on olden times and futuristic technology. Seems kinda cliché, but I'm gonna work on that. (smirks)

Mystery: Whatever. Read and Review, please!


	2. The Runaways!

NL: And…we're back.

Mystery: Surprise, surprise. You're working on this instead of your unfinished parodies.

NL: You know something, Mystery? You're right…and I'm _loving it._

Mystery: (slightly freaked out, but understands) Okay. Enjoy the chapter, please!

_**Chapter 2 – The Runaways!**_

The Empire of Ooraka – a kingdom known for its four seasonal terrains and literature. All ruled by their benevolent king Sora and his queen Kairi. The kingdom was similar in shape of two perpendicular rectangles and made up of five districts; four of these districts each had one season going all year long. North is winter, east is fall, south is summer, and west is spring. And the center district had the standard four seasons and this was where the Bikou Palace resided. The Bikou, home of the royal family, was very simple and humble, not much larger than a seven story building and as wide as a small city block. The palace was made of stone and had four watchtowers on each of its sides, quite peculiar as most castles had their watchtowers on its corners. Although the exterior was modest the inside was far more flourished with red and blue decorations.

Pacing around the throne room was Queen Kairi, an anxious look on her face as her husband was casually trying to balance a spoon on his nose. "A-a-are you sure we should do this?" she asked.

"Quit stuttering, Kairi. You're starting to sound like Porky," Sora said offhandedly.

"Why did I marry him?" Kairi mumbled to herself. "Was it because of the power? Money?"

Finally, he got the spoon to stay put on his nose…after spooning up peanut butter. "Aha!"

She gave a soft laugh. "Oh, right. Because he's a loveable goof."

"I know what we are going to do is hard, but it is for the best of the kingdom," Sora said nobly. "And, in the end, the kingdom is our first priority."

Kairi looked at her husband as she took in his words. It was very difficult to take _anyone_ seriously if they had a spoon hanging off their nose by using peanut butter as surrogate glue. "But, as parents, _Rika_ should be our first priority."

Sora sighed, removing the spoon from his nose. "Being parents and royalty is hard," he commented brusquely, sticking the spoon to Kairi's nose now.

"You think?" She snatched the spoon and slapped her husband's head with it.

Suddenly, No Limit's voice called, "Your Majesties, I have returned with the princess."

"Time to face the music…" Kairi sighed but tried to put on a brave face. No Limit, Mystery and Wolf led Rika, Daffy and Porky in from the opposite end of the throne room. Daffy and Porky had changed their outfits into orange and blue robes respectively, and Rika had untied her ponytail and had dawn a sickeningly cute, pink princess dress complete with golden tiara. Rika didn't look too happy with that.

"Um…" Rika looked into her mother's disapproving eyes. "Hi?"

"Rika Dearou Itonami…" she whispered solemnly. "Are you hurt in anyway?!" Kairi started inspecting Rika all over.

"Don't worry, Queen Kairi," Wolf assured her. "Rika isn't hurt at all." Just then Rika sneezed. "Though I think she may have caught a cold."

"A…_cold?!_" Kairi screamed. "Call the castle's doctor!! Get her in bed!! Go make some hot soup!! Go invent stem cell research!!"

"Jeez, and mothers usually scold their kids instead of smothering them…" Mystery muttered to herself.

"I'm confused. We're so advanced that we've got rocket-powered snowboards but we haven't even heard of stem cell research yet?" No Limit pondered, baffled.

"It's YOUR story, Dingus!" Mystery slapped the upside of his head with a rolled up newspaper in her robe's pocket.

"I'm fine, _Mother,_" Rika said sardonically.

"Oh, well…all right then." Kairi tried to collect herself, but then turned to Sora with a pleading look.

He sighed. "Er, Rika? We've got something to tell you."

"Can it wait til after dinner?" Rika asked, rubbing her gurgling stomach. "I'm starving."

"Um…I don't think so. You know of the war, right?" Sora asked.

"Who hasn't?"

"Well, it's just that we managed to secure an alliance with the Empire of Reiniku…" he said slowly.

"That's fantastic, Dad!" Rika smiled cheerfully. "King Riku has always been so cool. And his son Kuro was fun to hang around with! But…I dunno, but I think once he grabbed my butt." She shuddered. "Why so hesitant then?"

"But there's a condition…"

"Of course, there's always a catch that'll surely ruin a deal," Rika rolled her eyes. "So what is it?"

Sora swallowed his excess saliva gathering in his mouth. He looked toward Kairi, who still didn't look too happy about this condition. This wasn't going to be pretty at _all._ "Thatourchildrenwillbeboundbyholymatrimony. So! Let's get some dinner!"

Rika passed out with a dead faint to the floor, causing Kairi to shriek and Sora to turn green.

"I think she took it quite well," Mystery commented.

_**--**_

"They've got to be kidding. Yeah, wait. Yeah! It's just a joke! That's it! Just a stupid, sick as hell joke…" Rika mumbled to herself as she paced around her poofy, pink, girly room for hours. "Oh, who am I kidding?! I'm getting MARRIED!!" She dove onto her bead, weeping her eyes out and staining her custom-made Hello Kitty pillow.

"Oh, get over yourself," Daffy said, fiddling with pink music box that played the "Kiss the Girl" melody when opened. "I'm not too happy with having to work with that prince's bodyguards to protect you two. Hell, I'm not happy protecting you as it. All I've got for company is this guy… Hey, where'd Porky go?"

"I-I-I'm right here," Porky deadpanned, waving his hand in front of Daffy's face.

"Whoa, this room is so pink that I couldn't even tell you were here!" The little black duck began laughing hysterically.

"Ha, ha…"

"You know? That's another thing," Rika frowned, looking up from her pillow and around the room. "This room's too friggin' girly for my tastes. I mean, look at me!" She stood up to behold her disgusting pink dress. "I'm like Fairy Princess Barbie here only without the blonde removable head! And LOOK!" She held up said Fairy Princess Barbie. "I've even got every Barbie series ever made! I HATE Barbie!!"

"Doesn't everybody?" Daffy said, taking the doll from Rika as he examined it like an interesting piece of art – which it wasn't.

"My parents have never listened or understood me…" Rika grumbled, walking into her closet. "They don't know what I like at all." She pressed a blue button at the very back, where it suddenly slid open and revealed a room that resembled a small clothes shop full of less-girly outfits. "And now they want me to get married to that perverted Kuro! He's a cool guy, one of my best pals, but…"

"You don't like him in that way," her bodyguards chorused.

"And you just want…_more!_" Daffy said mockingly.

"How'd you know?" Rika asked, walking out of her secret closet in a pair of dark blue jeans, black sneakers, a white t-shirt with blue short sleeves and hood, a pair of black fingerless-gloves, a black belt pack worn backwards, and had tied her hair back into a ponytail with a blue ribbon.

"That's what all the late 80s and early 90s Disney princesses wanted," Daffy explained with a shrug. He realized he had torn off the head of Barbie's head and tossed the pieces away.

"R-Rika?" Porky said, eyes slowly widening as Rika smashed a rather large piggy bank with a sledgehammer and releasing a mound of money. "W-What are you d-d-doing?"

Rika grabbed a blue knapsack and started packing it with some of the money, clothes and any other needs. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm running away."

"Oh." Porky and Daffy nodded understandingly. "WHAT?!"

"You heard me." She threw the knapsack over her shoulders. "I'm running away. I'm not going to wait around to get married and be a good, little girly princess that my parents want me to be."

"B-B-But Rika!" Porky protested. "Thin-thin-thin, consider the consequences o-of wh-wh-what you're doing!"

"Need some help with that?" Daffy said as Rika tried to bring some more essentials in a green knapsack. She smiled appreciatively and nodded.

"D-Daffy?! You too?!"

"I'm bored, Sir-Pork-A-Lot," Daffy said, tossing away his orange robe for a new costume. "This'll be pretty fun! And if I'm ever caught going with the princess, I'll just explain I was just doing my job – protecting the princess." He grinned wryly as he donned his travel outfit; Daffy had put on a red vest with a zipper, a white belt with two holsters each carrying a glowing green nunchaku, and a blue beret.

"Come on, Porky," Rika said, holding up a yellow knapsack. "Come with us. See the world. Do whatever we always wanted to do but couldn't. You're our friend, Porky. It wouldn't be any fun without ya."

"It wouldn't?" Rika elbowed Daffy's stomach to silence him.

Porky mulled over all the negative and positive points of going with the princess and his partner on this adventure. He weighed both points out to see what he should do. Porky sighed, "Ooh, a-a-all right…"

Rika smiled. "Thanks, Porky. Now, all we have to do now is to sneak into the kitchen for some food and we'll be off."

"What are you talking about? If we get hungry, we'll just have smoked ham," Daffy said, pointing his thumb at Porky.

"I-I-I'm regretting it already…" he moaned.

_**End of Chapter 2**_

NL: They're running away! Wait…that's not good!

Mystery: Moron… Read and Review, please!


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